blogging
I try to step outside myself at times I try to ask myself to face reality, force myself into it. I latch to my comfort, my dreams, my sort of fairy tale life. I tell myself “THIS IS HAPPENING” like a child to his mother I always find myself crawling back to my safe dark bed crying, begging for some kind of hope that I can have the love and comfort I so desperately feel in my heart; that I need. To love and be loved is the greatest gift in all of the world, but to love and to not be loved is the most outstanding tragedy I’ve ever faced in my life. I lay in bed clenching my eyes shut trying to force myself into reality, but I do love with all of my heart, from the very pit of my stomach I feel so lost without HIM. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m scared to be alone. I’m not afraid to call him over and over again to beg him to look in his heart and know that we belong together. But at what cost? He answers me and tells me he can’t love me the way that he should, he answers me and tells me that this will be hard but we have to do it, he tells me I’ll be okay, he tells me we both need to be adults and move on. And he is right. How do you tell yourself not to be inlove. not to long for the other half of your heart?
